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COURSE NOTES: Social



	Based on the course PSY/SOC 301, taught at The Sage Colleges by Prof. Susan Cloninger. This class uses the following textbook, which provides the chapter organization that you see on the menu on the left side of this page: Myers, D. (2005). Social Psychology (8th ed.) New York: McGraw Hill.

Chapter 11:

Attraction and Intimacy: Liking and Loving Others

NEED TO BELONG

a motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing, positive interactions (Myers, 2005, p. 423)
ex: wanting friends; wanting romantic relationships

Belonging promotes well-being.

improved health
improved happiness

Ostracism and social rejection produce undesirable effects.

depression, anxiety, withdrawal
self-defeating behavior (experimental studies)
treat others badly (disparagement and loud noise) (experimental studies)
brain activity similar to physical pain
Columbine High School and other school shootings

FRIENDSHIPS

What are the most important qualities you look for in a friend?

[data presented in lecture from one study]

What leads to friendship and attraction?

PROXIMITY

physical closeness

[lecture supplement]: Festinger, Schachter & Back's (1950) study of friendships in a housing complex for married students:

Apartments closer together became friends.
Living near mailboxes: more friends in the building.
Living near stairways: more friends in the building.

Interaction

functional distance
crossing paths facilitates friendship
chance
- "imprinting"

most twins don't like twins' fiancé(e)

Anticipation of interaction

"anticipatory liking"

Mere exposure

familiarity breeds liking (Zajonc)
mirror image pictures
elections
In one election, the winning candidate made no speeches, took no stand on issues, and didn't appear in the campaign. He flooded the city with signs saying "Three cheers for Pat Milligan" -- on billboards, in full-page newspaper adds, on letters. He won.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

Attractiveness and dating

computer blind date & attraction

The matching phenomenon

attractiveness and other assets

The physical-attractiveness stereotype

the presumption that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable traits as well: what is beautiful is good (Myers, 2005, p. 435)
attractive children are judged more intelligent
attractive criminals are given lighter sentences

studies of children, college students, job applicants, etc.
cosmetic surgery; women are judged more attractive, kind, sensitive, etc. after plastic surgery; women are judged more attractive, kind, sensitive, etc. after plastic surgery

Is the stereotype accurate?

Or is it only self-fulfilling prophecy?
Goldman & Lewis phone study shows there is real behavioral difference.

Who is attractive?

"average" features
baby-faced females

Attractiveness is relative

effects of media (contrast effect)
liked people judged more attractive

Measuring the attractive face: (graphic)

Men:

prominent cheekbones (maturity)
large chin (maturity)
large eye height and width (baby face)
small nose (baby face)
overall: mature/rugged and babylike/cute

Women:

large eyes
small nose
high cheekbones
narrow cheeks
eye width = 3/10 width of face at eye level
distance from bottom of eyebrow to center of eye = 1/10 height of face

Attractiveness standards change.

Modern vs. 17th century (Rubens). (graphic)
Mean "bust to waist" ratio of female models in Vogue and Ladies' Home Journal (graphic)

Changing preferences for full-figured (high ratio) vs. thin (low ratio) bodies.

The evolutionary view: reproductive strategy

Males choose females based on

good looks
chastity

Females choose males based on

good financial prospects
ambition and industriousness

SIMILARITY VERSUS COMPLEMENTARITY

Do birds of a feather flock together?

Likeness begets liking

Dissimilarity breeds dislike

"cultural racism," or appreciation of differences?

Do the following differences reflect cultural racism?

BLACK CULTURE
- present-oriented
- expressive
- spiritual
- emotionally driven
WHITE CULTURE
- future-oriented
- individualistic
- materialistic
- achievement-driven

Do opposites attract?

complementarity
research supports similarity instead

Explanations why similarity may lead to liking:

direct reinforcement

Prior experience teaches that similar people are associated with rewarding circumstances.

confirmation of worldview

Similar others validate our understanding of the world.

knowledge of others' traits

We can infer their personality, which leads to liking.

inference that they will like us

We expect similar others to like us in return, which makes them more attractive.

LIKING THOSE WHO LIKE US

reciprocal affection

Attribution

ingratiation
the use of strategies, such as flattery, by which people seek to gain another's favor (Myers, 2005, p. 448)
ex: "What a great lecture, Dr. Sue!"

Self-esteem and attraction

Hatfield's study: wounded self-esteem makes us "hungry" for social approval
"rebound" love

Gaining another's esteem

impact of rising evaluations
rose-colored glasses in true love

Relationship rewards

reward theory of attraction
liking (or disliking) by association
- with liked/disliked people
- with enjoyable/unenjoyable events
(many kinds of "rewards" exist...)

LOVE

Survey question: "If a man (woman) had all the other qualities you desired, would you marry this person if you were not in love with him (her)?"(graphic of results for 1967 and 1984)

Simpson, Campbell & Berscheid, 1986; reported in Taylor et al, p. 249

Cross cultural comparisons: College students responses to question "Would you marry someone you did not love?"(graphic)

PASSIONATE LOVE

love styles (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1993)

eros (passion)
ludus (game playing)
storge (friendship)

eros (passion)

The Erotic lover searches for a person with the right physical appearance, and is eager for an intense relationship.

ludus (game playing)

The Ludic lover is playful in love and likes to play the field.

storge (friendship)

The Storgic lover prefers slowly developing attachments that lead to lasting commitment.

Sternberg's model

types of love(graphic)

passion ("infatuation"), commitment ("decision"), and intimacy ("liking"): All 3 combine to form "consummate love." Other combinations form romance (lacks commitment), companionship (lacks passion), or fatuous love (lacks intimacy).

passion

physical attraction
strong infatuation
"a state of intense longing for union with another person" (Hatfield, 1988, p. 193)

intimacy

feeling of closeness
being able to share feelings freely with another

commitment

strength of intention to continue a relationship
willingness to invest time and resources in a relationship

A theory of passionate love

two-factor theory of emotion: arousal x label = emotion
effects of adrenaline

(cartoon graphics: effects of coffee, roller coaster ride, exercise)

Variations in love

culture and gender

COMPANIONATE LOVE

the affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined (Myers, 2005, p. 456)
ex: a long-married couple who are good friends after many years of sharing

Cross-cultural differences in passionate love

WHAT ENABLES CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS?

ATTACHMENT

Attachment styles

among babies (& adults)

secure

"I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me."

insecure

"I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel com

avoidant (fearful / dismissing types)

"I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away."